It's just a week Edward!
by katiecharm
Summary: ummm... really bad at this Bella and Edward brake up for a week. Bella gets drunk and funny stuff starts happening.... more to come!
1. Chapter 1

Bella POV:

Today was like any other day. I sat on the couch doing nothing. I wasn't aloud to do any thing because apparently I was a danger magnet.

I was going to start yelling at Edward but of course he has to do that stupid look-into-my-eyes-i-will-controll-you-thing. "JERK!" I yelled at him as Emmet came around the corner.

"What did I do" Emmet asked confused. "I wasn't talking to you Emmet" I snapped at him.

"Then why did you just snap at me" he asked. "Because I'm angry, DUH!" stupid bear loving freak I said to myself.

"Let's go have some fun Bella belly boo" he said hoping to cheer me up. "I cant, Jerkward over there won't let me" I said now yelling. "What did you just call me" Edward came over to the couch standing over me. "You're a controlling, over reacting, stupid annoying jerk" I said with out hesitation.

"I didn't know you felt that way" Edward looked down sad. I rolled my eyes "I have a plan" Emmet interrupted. "That's out of the question" Edward said before he could explain. "Shut up Edward you jerk face, Emmet tell me, tell me" I jumped up and down on the seat. Emmet opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Edward "NO!" he shouted so loud that the house echoed.

"Don't listen to Mr. i-dont-agree-to-any-thing-jerk and tell me Em" I said in my pleading voice.

"Stop calling me a jerk" Edward said "but I have nothing else to do and it's your fault so there for you're a jerk" I spat back. "Bitch" Edward whispered so low I was sure I wasn't meant to here it "excuse me!" I said now towering over him. "Oops" he said and moved away. I scowled at him "Emmet tell me your plan" I order and put my hand over Edwards mouth so he couldn't interrupt.

"Well, I realize you two are having relationship problems rite now" he paused and gave us a you-know-I'm-rite look "so I figured you could brake up for a week". I huge smile grew across my face "Emmy bear, you're the smartest Vampire I know" I complemented him and turned back to Edward.

"Eddie honey, I don't want to be with you any more" I paused "for this week anyway".

His eyes opened wide in shock "one week" he asked "yes and then you can have me back all to your self".

He pouted and then looked into my eyes. I was automatically dazzled. Stupid-eyes-damn.

"Quick Emmet take me away the Jerkward is dazzling me again".

"What are we going to do" I asked Emmet with a smile. His eyes lit up in excitement "let's get you drunk" he chuckled. Edward came running out the door "take me back please I love you" he fell to his knee bagging me. "Friken hell Edward it's just a week, now leave me alone so I can get drunk". "But, drunk, but danger…" I cut him off "OMG! Enough with Bella-cant-do-anything-but-get-her-self-in-danger" frick I'm going to kill him.

Edward broke into dry sobs "but I thought we had something special" is he that dumb it's a week for crying out loud. I turned around and walked away pissed off.

"To the liquor store and beyond" I yelled to Emmet and stood in a Buzz light year pose. Edwards's sobs got louder and Jasper came out to see what was going on.

"No more sadness I can't take the emotions" he said putting his hands on his face a sobbing with Edward. "It's a week for god sake, get over it" I yelled at them both.

I turned and walked to the car with Edward scream "Bella please I love you".

"Idiot" I screamed back at him and slammed the car door.

Emmet drove me to the liquor store. We piked up anything we touched and went to the counter. The check out chick looked at us shocked "party tonight" she asked.

I looked at her blankly "no" and we walked back to the car with a trolley fool of piss.

**_just a start hope you all like it review if you do and want me to keep writing_**


	2. Chapter 2

Bella POV

so here I am again, sitting on the Cullen's couch. Only this time Jerkward cant say "no" to anything I want to do.

"drink, drink, drink" Rosalie and Emmett repeated over and over as I flung my head back and sculled a whole bottle of... I don't remember.

Edward was still dry sobbing and saying something about going to the Volturi. If he didn't shut up soon I would get the Volturi to come here.

"Bella!" Esme came in the room screaming at me "are you trying to kill your self. I blankly stared at her "no, what makes them you say that" for some reason that didn't sound rite"I'm just having a bottle in a can drink" I said. "no more alcohol!" she yelled at me and started walking away with my supply "noooooooooooooo" I yelled falling to the floor. I crawled over to her, clinging onto her leg. It didn't stop her she just dragged me along the floor "please Esme, its my first night as a single woman" I begged her. "Bella baby!" Jerkward cried out. For some reason that name suited him. "shut up you wimp" I spat back at him.

"please love me"he sobbed even harder. I let go of Esme's leg and stumbled over to him. He had one hand on his face and the other had a bottle of fake tears. I shoved his hand away and hit his chin so he would look at me. "Edward" I said in a slow loud voice so he would understand "itssssss, justttttt, aaaaaa, weeeeeek, idiotttttttt".

After thinking on something I cant remember I decided I was angry with him.

"please, I cant live with out you" he said while applying more fake tears. I gave him my are-you-for-real-you-idiot look "you are one sad puppy" I said shaking my head.

Emmett burst into laughter "you... just... call... him... a...dog" he stuttered out. "you love Jacob more then me" Jerkward said falling to him knees."i love cows more then you" I spat at him.

Jasper came around the corner stumble crawling on the ground. "moooooooooooooooo" he said while using his hand as a tail. "look Emmy" I screamed "theirs a cow in the house". Emmet gave him a what-the-hell-are-you-doing-look "Bella, I think your making Jasper drunk" he looked at me shocked. Before I could answer I bobbed to the ground and started jumping like a bunny "i lay eggs Emmy, but you have to wait for Easter" I twitched my nose and giggled.

Edward grabbed me by the waist and flung me over him shoulder "no more alcohol for Bella" he said and started walking us to the door. "aaaaaaaaaaaaa, bunny kidnapper, help me" I screamed hit Edward over the head. "ill save you" Emmett yelled in a superman voice and running into Edward.

Emmett pinned Edward to the ground "i know what you were trying to do Edward" he spat at him"she wont make chocolate till Easter".

By the time I was able to stand up I had completely forgot what happened and bunny jumped over to Jasper "moo moo Jasper" I smiled at him. "moo want a ride moo" he asked. "me first" Emmett said and jumped on his back pushing me to the ground.

"aaaaaaaaa" Edward screamed and ran into the corner "i hear voices in my head".what a freak I thought to myself.

Jasper crawled over to Rose with Emmett still on his back "mommy" she screamed and jumped into Esme's arms "i don't like cows" she whispered in her ear.

I sat there watching every one, twitching my nose and eating an imaginary carrot.

Emmett came over and sat next to me "what are you doing" he asked. I ignored him and kept eating my carrot.

We watched every one for while. Jasper was still crawling around saying "moo" and eating the carpet-grass. Esme was rocking Rose in her arms "there, there them cows wont get you" she said to her and started humming.

Edward was sitting in the corner blocking his ears and rocking back and forth. Occasionly saying "the voices".

Just then I had a Epiphany "oh my god" I said to myself shocked. "what" Emmett whisper shouted. "Jassssssssszperrrrr" I whisper shouted back. "what about Jasper" he asked. I looked down in embarrassment "i dont want to tell you" I said.

"moo Jasper come here moo" he whispered him over. Jasper stumble crawled over "moo what are you whispering moo" he asked.

I gave him a you-must-be-the-dumbest-vampire-on-earth look "because baby rose is sleeping" I rolled my eyes and pointed to her still in Esme's arms.

Jasper moo giggled "what did you want moo" he said in a curious moo voice. "Jasper I had an epiphany, but Jerkward and pixie wont like it" I looked down in guilt. "ill keep it a secret" he promised.

I looked over to Edward to make sure he wasn't listening. He was still be emo in the corner. I turned back to Jasper with a big goofy grin on my face "i think I love you".

What will Jasper do, what will Alice say about this and will Edward get out of the corner..

Find out next time on... It's Only a Week Edward!!!


	3. Chapter 3

So there I was crawling on the ground eating the carpet grass; when BAG!!! out of no where comes this huge emotional cloud of love.

I looked around realizing that my vision was all blurry. Had Alice walked in the door. I wondered, but couldn't feel her presence or here her voice. She had been out shopping and the first thing she always does before i even get to kiss her, is brag about some stupid sale of some stupid brand of some stupid... whatever, shopping sucks.

So no Alice, meant something was wrong. I didn't know what though. I couldn't see anything wrong.

Well of course I couldn't see anything wrong my vision was blurry. I looked down, ready to take another bite of carpet grass when again out of no where came lust.

Instead of looking I decided to feel my way to who it was; using there emotion to trail them out.

Bella's sent got stronger and I thought I must be in the wrong direction. Before I could turn around and start again. She called my name. Well, it was more of a purr.

I looked closely trying to make out her face. But still saw nothing but blurry colors.

"Bella, are you alright" I asked her; hoping i was wrong and it wasn't her calling me or sending me her emotions.

"Why, would anything be wrong" Emmet cut in. With a i-know-something-you-don't-know voice.

I crawled over to them now making out there faces. Bella was staring at me, as if I was u huge over sized cookie.

My hopes of it not being her, all died. The love that came off her surrounded me in a foggy mist of yuck.

Does she know I love Alice. Does she know I'm with Alice. Is she going crazy. Yes, that's it Bella has lost her mind and replaced it with crazy...ness. I thought she loved Edward.

"Jasper, come sit with me" Bella giggled. "Yes, come sit with Bella" Emmet said with a cheeky smile on his face.

I was stuck. I couldn't turn her down because Emmet would kill me. Curse the evil bear/vampire.

"BEAR / VAMPIRE" Edward yelled from the corner. "Make them stop, the voices wont stop".

His yelling was getting annoying and his consistent babble about voices. He must be going crazy hearing voices in his head. I think there's some thing wrong here.

I looked down. My vision was still blurry and I seemed shorter or maybe that's just because I'm crawling on the ground.

I stayed very still trying to think of what could possible be Wrong.

Rosie's in Esme's arms, Edwards saying he hears voices, Bella loves me and Emmets supporting it.

No, cant see anything wrong. Must just be one of those days. I gave up on avoiding Bella and went and sat next to her.

"Well hello Jasper, your looking very handsome today" Bella said while placing her hand on my leg.

I sat there very still not knowing what to do. "BELLA LOVES YOU!" Emmet screamed so loud my ears popped.

"Emmet, your not meant to tell any one" Bella scowled at him.

Edward reappeared from the corner and was standing over me like a tower with an angry look on his face. "Who does Bella love" he asked Emmet in a calm but edged voice.

"Um... a... you" Emmet stubbled out. A smile grew across my face. He lied to save me, so nice.

"Your lying" Edward spat at him. Emmets face turned into shock "no I'm not" he said so quick I'm sure Bella didn't here him.

"The voices say you are" Edwards voice got angry. "Jasper" Emmet whispered giving in.

Edward turned to look at Bella. She was off in her own world. Bobbing her head up and down, while giggling.

"Jappy, Jappy, loveeeeeeeeee booo" she cooed in a baby voice.

"Bella love, what are you saying?" Edward asked her. She looked up at him still giggling.

"I sezy, I love Jappy" she smiled showing all her teeth. I looked at her still not getting what she meant. she turned her head in my direction "Jappy" she said while flicking her finger to point at me.

I'm Jappy!. Shes already given me a nick name. "JAPPY!!!" Bella screamed. Edward fell to his knees dry crying for the millionth time today.

"Eddie, Eddie, dont cry Eddie" Bella said while rubbing his back. "You don't love me any more" he sobbed.

"Jappy love" Bella said in a sad voice. "a... u..., belly got sick feeling" Bella mumbled. "BELLY SICK, BELLY SICK" she started screaming. Emmet ran and grabbed a bucket making it back in time to save the floor from what just came out of Bella's mouth.

"Edward quickly ran to hold Bella's hair, I sat there still not knowing what was going on. "all... better, i sleep now" Bella slurred. Edward picked her up and ran her to the bed room.

I sat there feeling a little down or maybe it was sleepy. With that thought, I drifted into a long, silent and none thinking stare.


End file.
